BFM #478 – I Wear My Sunglasses At Night

I looked up the lyrics of this song. At first, they made no sense; they were just a bunch of words strung together. Upon further review, they still made no sense. It was something about a girl deceiving a guy wearing sunglasses which allow him to see the deception but he doesn’t care because she has control over him. A bunch of words strung together. Have I mentioned that I’m an engineer and not a poet? If I were a singer/songwriter, my music would probably focus on bodily functions or women. Or maybe both… (with a rusty spoon anyone?)

Anywho, most of the BFM sported sunglasses or many different varieties. I honestly can’t remember who wore what considering this trash is about 6 months late. I’m pretty sure there were a few harriers/harriettes doing their best Corey Hart impression.

Those who came: Rear engineer, Uncle Bad Touch, Semen on the Poop Deck, He’s A Lesbian, Cause for Blindness, Flounder, Cock Cock Who’s There?, Just Suzanne, Splashback, Just Emma, Sideshow BobJob, Shop n Fuck, Hole Patrol, S&M Man, Manual Fiesta, C-men++, Tits of Steel, Chases Boyz, Horny Hands, Not In My Hair, Just Deborah, Son of Goat Fucker, Just Steven, Midnight Tranny to Georgia, Just Emily, One Inch In

Midnight Tranny had volunteered to hare trail before even showing up to the hash. And Shop n Fuck was on a mission to get the pack out on time. So, MTtG headed out to lay trail at 7:55, chalk talk was called at 7:57, and the pack was off promptly at 8:00. This was fairly impressive. So impressive that Cmen++ showed up at 8:03 and wondered where the pack was.

During Chalk Talk, we welcomed our new virgin, Just Emily, in the rain. Shop n Fuck went at a snail’s pace explaining the marks while the mob started to get wet and cold. Eventually we were off!

Trail meandered south and eventually east through queen village via good trail down alleys, across streets, and in totally random directions. It was enough to keep the entire pack together. I’m fairly certain that Cause was at the middle of the pack for most of trail. Well, until the on-in at least. The mob eventually got to Front St and headed north after checking in every single “normal” direction the pack goes. After some back and forth on 2nd and 3rd, we went past several potential BNs such as Drinker’s and Sugar Moms. Since there was no BN at chalk talk, the pack figured that this was just a cruel tease. I believe the comment was, “Ah, typical Rear trail laying.” But to our surprise, after a quick oopdioop to the north, we arrived at Lucy’s Hat Shop for some watered down meisterchow. (I tried to find a clip of the scene from PCU where Droz is going on about having a party, but youtube doesn’t have a large collection of clips from college cult classics of the 90s. And now I feel old.)

After the BN, Midnight informed us that he was out of flour already. So, he used someone’s chalk to lay a mostly straight back trail as per the BFM norm established during the Gynocracy era.


Hares: Midnight Tranny to Georgia

Virgins: Just Emily (Manual Fiesta made her cum)

Vistors/Transplants: None as far as I’m concerned. Although Not In My Hair seems to think he’s a visitor.

First In: Hole Patrol

Last In: Cause for Blindness

Cums Latelies: Several half-minds including yours truly.

Auto Hashers: Semen on the Poop Deck, Manual Fiesta, Tits of Steel, Just Emma (only autohasher dressed in non-running attire).


• Just Deborah for forgetting the BFM’s name.
• Manual Fiesta for a race-ist T-shirt.
• Chases Boyz for paying his parking meter while on trail.
• Tits of Steel for wearing running clothes and autohashing
• Hole Patrol for extreme over achieving ass clownery – he got lost on the way back after sprinting on in, only to meet back up with the pack as they got back.
• Just Deborah for thinking Horny Hands had a race-ist t-shirt on
• Side Show Bob Job for a poor Jacqueline Bisset in The Deep impersonation
• Rear Engineer for putting his hand up and not putting out
• Shop n Fuck for not beating off twice to someone (notes are scribble)
• He’s a Lesbian for knowing who Jacqueline Bisset is and having her picture on his phone.
• Tits of Steel for not bringing the Back Street Boys to the hash
• Hole Patrol for being jealous of Tits of Steel getting to hang out with the Back Street Boys
• He’s A Lesbian for trying to get all the girls wet
• Shop n Fuck for not showing off his tick bite (which was followed with an all the girls who got wet looking at said tick bite drink)
• He’s A Lesbian for making motorists horny
• S&M for having a “going away” party and he’s still here.
• Hole Patrol for looking like “Hitler’s wet dream” (Thank you HAL)
• One Inch In for autohashing late
• Cock Cock for losing her license on trail. Due to the egregiousness of this crime against the hash, Cock Cock was given a giant mystery shot for her down down. The best guess for what it was: Roofie Colada Cement Mixing Mind Eraser
• He’s A Lesbian, Midnight Tranny, and Rear for matching goatees
• S&M Man for giving us a ton of new songs and then leaving the city.
• Everyone not wearing sunglasses drank.
• Uncle Bad Touch for sporting a bowling shirt, which was determined later to be a hash shirt. It was too late as UBT had already done his down down.
• Just Deborah received a side-side for her birthday that happened at prom but didn’t tell anyone.


• Tuesday July 2nd – PH3 July 4th Pre-lube hash – Tits of Steel, pay as you go, Cherry St Tavern, 6:30pm (You missed it)
• S&M is having a “Lick Your Ginger” party after circle. (You missed it.)
• Rear has “ON-ON” foot stickers available for $2. (Still have them)

Circle ended at 9:37pm. Shop n Fuck was quite proud of this. 3 mile trail, beer check, and circle in an hour and 37 minutes. It ended so early, in fact, that S&M man had to tell everyone to wait at the bar until 10:30 so he could get ready before they could come over for his after party. It probably had a little to do with the fact that the mob didn’t get lost on trail at all.

Overheard at the hash:

Just Emily: “The reason Manual Fiesta didn’t run trail is because I locked his keys in his car.”

Unk Hasher: “I’ve done her before; she knows me.”

Cock Cock Who’s There?: “I don’t need him to get wet.”

On On,
Rear Engineer

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