BFM # 541 Night of Just-ice

” Very Interesting Afternoon Doing Unimaginable, Crazy Things?”

Yes, many intrigued hashers turned up at The Institute(1) for “a very special and secret (yes, I said secret) hash planned for you, courtesy of Shop ‘N Fuck and your very own RA, Tits of Steel. What could it be, those prostitutes you always wanted, a whole circle of side-sides(2), who knows.”

The Institutionalized:
Can You Hear Me Now?, Cause for Flounder, Chorizo Quartins, Cockmaster AND Commander, Gay Matthews Lamb, Horny Hands (newly self-appointed hash flash), Just Alex, Just Amy, Just Cerise, Just Damien (V), Just David, Just Greg (V), Just Jenna, Just John (Semi-transplant from Hangover Hash in DC), Just Katherine, Just Kevin (V), Just Lily (LTNS), Just Liz, Just Nick, Just Randy(i?), Just Steve (LTNS), Manual Fiesta, Not in My Hair (LTNS), Rear Engineer, Semen ++, Shop ‘n’ F*ck, Soft Core Analyst (LTNS), Tits of Steel, Urine Luck.

And our lovely servers: Just PJ (3), Just Nate, and our very own upstairs Bartender, Just Charlie)

– – – Late Arrivals – – –
BiFucles (Visitor from Charleston maybe?), Groundhog Lay, One Inch In (VLTNS), Semen on the Poop Deck.

Our hares, Tits of Steel and Shop ‘N Fuck, had previously conspired and reconnoitered and semi-prelaid a Very Interesting (and not very long) trail.  I saw them leave about 6:40.  It was after 8:00 when the every-enlarging pack were called outside for Chalk Talk (4), featuring Manual Fiesta jumping around the familiar marks and one unfamiliar BC ? which *someCause* had sloppily tried to make into an equation 0>BC>? but looked more like Q – B Pacman eating infinity. Our Virgins were introduced: Just Damien, courtesy of “Just Liz,” Just Greg, who came (!) with newly-transplanted, semi-virgin Just John, and Just Kevin; Just Jenna definitely made him cum. And soon we were off looking for . . .

Trail.  The pack scattered in every direction until someone ventured far enough south on 12th to find On One, On Two, On-On , Check!  Turn, On one, on two on-on Check! Lather, rinse, repeat.  My favorite kind of trail with way too many checks leading us ’round  and ’round until finally . . . Up.  SnF had kindly provided his own non-rusty, ladder and support for the pack to climb up onto the Ex-Reading RR line above the industrial leftovers of the city.  After squeezing through a hole in a platform we were greeted by a neat BN and the instruction SWING.  Sure enough hanging from ropes tied way-way-way up on an old branch of an older tree was an adult-sized rubber swing.(5) Ms. Curtains provided the oomph needed for a nice little ride.  So to speak. (6) From there flour led through the overgrowth and rocks (7) to the Real Beer Near and a Large Tire Swing, occupied by Urine Luck for the duration. We hung around for a bit, enjoying the fancy Beers, the can of OFF!, the View, and friendly conversation (8) until dusk fell (or was pushed) and we traversed the viaduct back towards land and followed the flour . . .

Back to the Bar.(9)  Narragansett Pounders were the beverage of choice for the evening.
And then Circle.
RA’s: Fiesta Tits
Hares: Shop ‘n – Steel
First and Last In:  Urine /++
Virgins: Just Damien <- “Just Liz“; Just Greg <- Just John; Just Kevin <- Just Jenna (10)
Autohashers: Visiting BiFuckles, Just John, Groundhog Lay (from a ’76ers take back their Ben Franklin logo event), Semen on the Poop Deck, Scrummy Seconds and Just Maureen, and special guest star, One Inch In.
LTNS (Long Time No See): One Inch, Just Lily, Soft Core Analyst (John from Ardmore, from Glenside), Not in MY Hair.
[Note: my notes here are pretty sloppy.  Actually, not so pretty sloppy. So here’s the Reader’ Digest Condensed version.]
Cockmaster and Commander for overachieving, Just Amy for eat Tater Tots which are UnAmerican,  C++Semen Poop D., and Gay Matthews Lamb (for hinting that Just Lily might have been born, um, out-of-state)
Urine Luck – no shirt, Cause – something about that swing, Soft Core for not making it rain when he needed a shower, Just Randy for shopping. One Inch and Rear for ??, Just Maureen for being in the bathroom when we needed her, Just Damien for looking mortified at our little ditties, Flounder for racing, Just Steven (ph?) for blood on trail, Just Kevin – hat offense,  Just Alex – too fast, Justs Randy Katherine and Liz for imitating Gossip Girls.
“Just Liz” for New Shoes.
Birthday Side-sides to Semen (PD), NinmyH, J. Randy
Then . . .
“Just Liz” – get on your knees and tell us stories about your sexual experiences.  She couldn’t beCause she blacked out.  Tell us who made those yummy cupcakes a few weeks back (that got Bukkaki in the Kitchen named).  She did. What happened in second grade?  Slipped on the Monkey Bars and hurt herself somewhere secret.  She’s a Math teacher.  She trains Animals.  She was not named Strawberry CumCake. Or Slippery When Wet.  Or Black out Whore.  No, “Just Liz” is now . . .   Penetration is Elementary.

Over and Out,
(and nyahh, nyahh CYHMN?)

Cause for Blindness


(1) The last time we were here it was 60 degrees colder and *we* had to call around to find an open bar for a beer near.  And the roof leaked.
(2) Indeed.
(3) Just PJ has a grrreat voice.  We had a mini-diva-off.  And he treated me to 2 shots.  Of water.
(4) Overheard waiting for chalk talk: “I had to kick the head off and suck it up”
(5) No, not adult-themed, and no stirrups.
(6) see # 5 above.
(7) Not so much fun for those who still ware 5-finger foot sleeves.  (I’m looking at you C++, didn’t you get the memo?)
(8) Overheard while quaffing ” Yes, I want an enema!”   Although a headlamp would have been more helpful.
(9) Total distance maybe a mile?
(10)  Are we sensing a theme here?

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